Nelson and the Yellow Jackets

My younger brother Kenny went to see my parents a few years ago.  He had promised to help Dad do some projects around the house and this seemed like a good time of year to get them done.  My mother was working in the yard when he drove up.  “Where’s Dad?” he yelled as he was getting out of his truck.  “He was headed toward the barn about 15 minutes ago,” Mom responded. “I guess he’s working down there.”  Dad’s barn was built in the 1920’s and had seen its better days.  It was filled with a collection of “treasures” that Dad had accumulated over the years.  Approaching the barn, my brother could see Dad in the loft.  He was standing in the loft opening about 8 feet from the ground, holding a pitchfork and staring at the stacks of hay he was moving.  Suddenly he started swatting at his ears and immediately launched himself out of the loft.  He continued swatting and my brother says that he would swear Dad was trying to fly.  As he neared the ground, Dad tucked his legs, hit the ground with a thud, and came to rest at my brother’s feet.   “What’s wrong Dad?” my brother asked. “Don’t you know a 75 year old man shouldn’t be jumping out of the barn loft?  You could have killed yourself.”  Dad slowly got to his feet and brushed the grass from his pants.  “To tell you the truth Son, those yellow jackets never asked how old I was and they probably wouldn’t have cared if I’d told them.”

"You can’t cure stupid. You can hope they go into remission, but you can’t cure it."

"Some people are on a different level of smart."

"You won’t ever know if you built it too strong but you’ll know fairly quickly if you didn’t build it strong enough."

"Can’t never could do anything."

"If lifting weights is good for you, why are they called dumbbells?"